“True Evil”

Howdy Jelqsperts!  It’s me, Big Jay. Where have I been, you ask? Hell, of course!

…What? You don’t believe me, do you? Fine.Maybe I was exaggerating a little bit. But I did have a pretty crazy dream. Like, basically I was in Hell. 

It all started with a normal family dinner. Except I didn’t know anyone there! They weren’t even celebrities or anything. Everyone was nice and all, but I couldn’t speak! It was as if my mouth were moving on its own and I were held captive within my skull. Then, one by one, they all said goodbye. I cannot recall what else they told me then, but I know it felt important. They were weeping.

“As the fires of creation waver, the works of man only appear to forestall a meticulously calculated tumble into entropy.” 
​          -Chungus Biblioinfinitome (Book II: Act V)

In a flash I found myself strolling down a long tunnel laid with scarlet brick, torches flickering on either side. I walked alone at first, but soon others began filtering in through small side tunnels. No one spoke, preferring simply to stare straight ahead.

“Eyes for eyes lost and souls for minds tossed,
From the ship of fools.”
          -Anonymous Chungan Poet (Stone Engraving: 400 B.C.)

Soon heat waves began visibly distorting the rows of red brick surrounding us. Step by step, the heat compounded. Hot past the point I had thought humans capable of tolerating, and then hotter. This feverish suffocation fueled claustrophobia precipitated by the nearly undetectable shrinking of our tunnel. 

“Wrapped deeply within those solitary and most sacred moments throughout one’s life, known otherwise only to the truly omniscient, whispers of sincere greatness and horror lie, eternal fossils of the damned melting slowly, imperceptibly down to the rotted ooze at the core of all events, powering our machines of progress while speeding us ever further through lands of unknown consequence.”
          -Chungi Chunga, The Third Disciple (Channeled via Global Consciousness: 2020)

Then, true silence as a lone figure lumbered out through one of the side passages. Swinging its macabre grin in my direction, it purposefully strode toward another traveler. At first glance they appeared unbothered as the massive abomination skipped alongside, seemingly weightless, and examined him. Yet one could see in his eyes that something wasn’t right. That he would tear away for his life, if only he were able. Inching ever closer was the grotesque mockery of a human being, an uncanny mass of mismatched skin and facial features.

Then it struck. Brutally and without restraint it bludgeoned the man again and again with its deformed first. And it laughed. Or was it more of a cry? Either way after but a few seconds of hysterics the being grew weary of splashing around in its self-made puddle.

“Evil waits tucked within the folds of future’s fabric, biding time until till its works render damnation on those trapped in the utter fabrication that is the ‘present.’”
          -Emperor Chongoo IV (Public Address: 3500 B.C.)

One of the travelers broke into a panicked sprint. Simultaneously, I realized with horror that I couldn’t. The same force that prevented the first poor victim from crying out or defending himself now shackled me to a similarly leisurely stride. 

But as I gazed into the deepest blackness of my soul, heard its giggling and felt its rancid breath on my skin, every cell screamed for release. Suddenly and without reason synapses fired and I started running clumsily along with a few others. The monster gave no chase, simply moving on to its next waiting victim. Though left far behind in our wild terror, elated shrieks continued to echo down our ever-tightening tunnel. The walls reeked of rotten meat.

“Peering sickly through the blinding white sun, the brightest of all evils.
Insidious and infallible, innocent and ineffable.
A fleeting glimpse at consecrated disfigurement.”
          -Al Gore (Comic-Con Panel: 1995)

I ran and ran. After a long while, several were able to dampen their fear just enough to stop and catch their breath. But after only seconds, we who pushed on felt the terror licking at our heels. Even as we stooped under the searing masonry we knew there would be no rest. Many fell along the way, dragged to the limit by their horror. Screams of panic were drowned out by something far more terrible. 

Time passed strangely, as if we were fast-forwarding an infinitely long cassette. After what felt like days of dogged pursuit the tunnel narrowed to a crawl. Hand and knee on blistering brick we pressed forward in single file. They played with those in the back, one by one. I could feel the gibbering laughter in my bones, and just when I thought I would finally burst into pulp, I was suddenly blinded with cobalt light. We few emerged as rats from the red-hot tunnel into an elegant, cool ballroom coated in deep lapis tile. 

“The high heavens crash forth,
Swallowed within the omnipresent interior.
Infinite sarcophagi, purged of consciousness;
Absent causality, stripped to consequence.
Bare without its trappings,
The World alien to itself.”
          -Anonymous Chungan Poet  (Etched Relief: 4100 B.C.)

It was evidently a party, and I felt then as if I were right where I belonged. Among the attendees I spied countless figures I knew from history, and countless others I did not. The musings accompanying this tale were impressed upon me in conversation as I milled about the hall aimlessly. Yet just under the surface I knew each casual encounter to be predetermined. I felt poised on the cusp of true awakening.

“Though beauty and disgust are altogether illusory, who can rightfully deny the essential magic of life, more compelling than that of the finest conjurer? Cruelty, evil, and absurdity are indeed inevitable; yet seeking one’s True dying breath remains a compelling duty to the phenomenon of life itself. Forgotten through the passing of ages and the changing of hands, the beauty of individual resolution is yet immortalized in the timeless continuum, the chain of causality frozen among countless paths. And where evil hides too lies overwhelming beauty preserved agelessly.
​
Turning points, vows unbroken, and eternal goodness;
Ages past, fallen kingdoms, and endless sacrifice.”
          -Choochoo Trayne, Descendant of the Fifth Disciple (Editorial: June 16, 1955.)

But then I witnessed Him. Far off past the din of the crowd, a deep intent penetrated my consciousness and resonated with the communal dream. On that distant throne sat the Eternal One whose Way had paved the path to my self-styled enlightenment. And yet, there was more. At once I was aware of the “secret” to His immortality: His mere presence in the conscious delusion binding all mortal hearts. That which blinds all to the fundamentally inanimate truth. In this sense, my encounter was no more than the natural consequence of collective thought. Yet I understood fundamentally that something more, and far less, than I could fathom sat before us. Glimpsing that godless visage through a brief parting of the swarm, my heart sank to depths unknown. It was then that I knew True Evil.

“These glories are indeed made manifest under the gaze of causality, and no act of logic may diminish them. Yet whether seeking the truth beyond all, with gritted teeth and steady gaze, or merely passing on firm in one’s convictions, one must ultimately, if only for a fraction of a moment, surrender completely to the absence: limitless stagnation, or Death beyond death.”
          -Chungo’s Response to Choochoo (Stone Slab: Excavated June 17, 1955.)

Well, I guess that’s it. So It’s pretty obvious, but I think basically that dream just means I gotta make my Peepee even bigger! So inspiring. Thanks for listening Ding-Dongs!

Love,
Big Jay